Is there a balance after you got a baby?
There is a constant debate about work-life balance in recent years. I myself being a working mum is always interested in this subject.
My life before having children and afterwards are totally different, I can say it almost turned my life upside down. Being the single child of my parents- I have always enjoyed the ever loving attention and care from them, they try their every way to protect me whatever it takes (so proud and grateful), after the birth of my own kids, it all changed for me – I become the responsible person, raising my kids has becomes another job description! After finishing 9-5 job, the home job starts – the mountains of washing and ironing, clickling and clankling of dish washing, endless shopping for kids from nappies, baby wipes to school supplies and much much more. Of course there’s the forever problem of sleeping deprivation. (When I write out other people’s job description, I was not aware these extras will be on mine?!!) Me and my husband were the victims of this total culture shock after became first time parents, of course that’s 9 years ago!
The 2nd child was a total bliss at the beginning, because we got a boy this time, so friends and families congratulated us – a daughter and son, what more happiness could you wish for!!!! Only if the joy is the daily life but not the chores! The routine becomes getting out of the house 7.30am in the morning for nursery drop off, finishing work 5pm driving like a maniac to beat the traffic to reach nursery on time. Arriving home 6pm and fight to get tea ready before they are too starved to wait, munching on biscuits instead! Then it’s bath time for the young one, then one goes to sleep, the older one still negotiates “mummy I’m tired yet, just another TV program please!” By the time she goes to bed it’s already 9.30pm! Then it’s time for ironing, getting nursery bag and school bag ready, breakfast for the morning – please can I sit down for 5 minutes so I can have a breath and then I will go to bed to just start this all over again……
The Proud Mum or Not?
There are times I’m always very proud of being in pursuit of my career, the same time running around to meet the demand of my children as well. But recent discovery of other similar mothers ‘staying-in’ style seems to change my opinion a little.
These mothers chose to not in pursuit of their career. They dedicated themselves to their children’s upbringing. They sacrifice their own time and pleasure time to educate and discipline their kids, provide the best they can to prepare these vulnerable children into the society and their challenging adulthood. They use the school hours as only time to engage into their own hobby, then focus back to kids again. The success of these mothers is the result of their young generation thriving into the community, a work force or a business field. This means women don’t have to be in workplace to be successful. But would I be happy to be one of them? Am I capable of such scarification?
I think hard, and have decided I have no regret choosing my path doing what I’m doing. I was born in 70th China, living in a working parents family, I was raised to be in pursuit of a good career and constantly look for improvement in life. The fact I choose to keep a track of record on my career ladder, it has take years of dedication and hard work. I have always been financially independent, paid my own wedding, got sponsorship for my qualifications and continues to work on it. I would not give it up and put on a hope that once I stop working all my kids problem will go away, they will become angel children and elite of the society when they grow up, and I will be forever happy….
Happiness is such a vague definition that everyone has their own version. One seems obviously true might not be the same for another.
My work-life balance will come to my happiness when I continue to provide what my children need, and I have to accept what they are regardless of others opinion; the same time learn to be kind to myself, friends and family, this is how to find my inner self therefore reaching out for the balance!